memorial service

David has gone to God.

David passed away peacefully at 2.55pm this afternoon, Saturday 27th of June. 

He was constantly surrounded by loving family and friends before, during and after he took those last precious breaths. Some might say that he ‘lost’ his swift battle with pancreatic cancer, but I know *he* would say he won an an even greater battle. He fought the good fight, he kept the faith, he finished the race. 

Now he has gone on to victory and perfect peace, and for that we are so very thankful. 

But oh, Dov, we miss you already. You were among the very best of men xx

Love Kate on behalf of Catherine and all the family 

Still here

Hi everyone, 

Somehow David is still with us, having made it through another night. He is no longer really conscious, and the nurses are trying to keep his meds topped up so he doesn't have too much pain or nausea. Up to yesterday he was still vomiting. 

We are still staying at the hospice w him, Iain Catherine and I stay here overnight with other wonderful family also coming in shifts. He is surrounded in love and we are all ready for him to find peace when he is ready too. 

Xx

Update

Hi everyone, 

David has declined quite a bit. He probably has hours to days left. Only God knows. Family is here, he is surrounded by love and family.

 We never ever want to let him go but also want him to be out of pain and discomfort. He is going to a better place, an eternal home of joy and Peace and for that we are so grateful. 

Will update later xx

Still in hospice

With mammoth effort on his part, David made it to church briefly on Sunday. It's so important to him
to be there, even at huge physical cost. David is such a dignified gentleman, to come to church in his pyjamas is NOT easy for him to do, even at a time like this. But he knew the energy to get 'dressed' would use up the little energy he had to actually make it to church, to worship his God and be with his church family. Just love that he knew what the true priority was - faith and people over appearances and pride. Even now, he teaches us so much xx

Hi all, 

David is still in hospice for the time being. He was too exhausted after the busy weekend of visitors and making it out to church to think about going home today. He seems to be settling into things a bit better there too, so thankful for that. So we will take it day by day as to whether he will transition back home or not, and how Catherine and his medical team think we can support him best in that.

Visitors: David asked today that any visitors just sit with him and be with him and not ask too many questions (he is finding it hard to chat/participate). Please take your lead from him on this and also keep visits to about 15 minutes. We are still trying to space out visits to suit his needs, but he does enjoy the warm presence of loved ones when he is up to it.

Grateful as always for your prayers, love and support. Will update later in the week.

Kate and all David's family xx

Settling into Hospice

Hi all,

Just a very quick update to say David is settling into hospice ok.

There is no place like home, but he is adjusting to things there. The noise, the constant coming and going of staff, and the food are all taking a bit to get used to. He is not feeling like eating a lot of things at the moment (food aversions coming and going), so we are bringing in extra supplies from home so he always has a few options available. Whatever he feels like, he gets, even if that is ice cream for lunch :) Today he had a beautiful cold tomato and basil soup made by our church sister Lucrecia, and he loved that, it was so refreshing, he ate a whole bunch :) (He really struggles with overheating at the moment).

He has been mostly sleeping and resting but enjoying a few lovely visitors too. Sometimes he sleeps through the visits, but that's ok too. The first couple of days he struggled with nausea and vomiting but today seemed a lot better, feeling less queasy and more alert - thankful for that!

No plans yet about going home, we will leave it till Monday or so then see what Catherine/David/the medical staff think they want to do from there.

Ongoing prayers and support much appreciated xx

David moves to Hospice

Hi everyone,

This morning a bed became 'available' and so David moved to the local hospice. Obviously, this marks a further decline in how he is doing, but is also an opportunity for the medical staff to more closely monitor his medications and well being for a while and see how he responds, as well as a bit of respite for his amazing full-time carer/nurse/wife, Catherine. The plan is to see how he is in about a week, if he rallies again, he will hopefully go back home (that is David and Catherine's 'plan') or otherwise may stay there. We shall see, taking it day by day at this point...

The hospice is lovely, filled with very caring staff and volunteers. It is right on the lake, and David even has a view of the water from his (private) bedroom! Lots of lovely outdoor spaces, gardens, etc, they have it set up so nicely. They even have mattresses and a spare room so Mum can sleep there either in his room or a separate room overnight if she wants to at some point.

David has been increasingly tired and weak lately and more and more just requesting time to sleep or be on his own. He is craving peace and quiet. The hospice coordinator said today this is a natural stage of just turning more inward and needing more solo time. So we are trying to respect that while of course all wanting to spend as much time with our beloved David as possible!! It's a tricky balance at times.

For Visitors (apart from close family): 

We are so grateful for everyone who wants to show David their love by visiting! If you wish to visit, we ask that you do not just drop by unannounced as we are trying to space visits out a bit so David gets plenty of rest in between. Please text/contact me if you are keen to visit, just so we can schedule things so he gets some good down time in between visits. Also, we ask that you please keep visits to 30 minutes maximum (hospice visits are usually 10 minutes!). I know it's hard, but we would really appreciate if you would 'self-monitor' this time, so Catherine and the nursing staff don't have to do that on top of everything else. David really appreciates visits but does find them very tiring, so finishing up before he gets really exhausted helps it not take its toll too much. If he is begging you to stick around, of course, that's fine - he's the boss ;) Again, visits are most welcome and appreciated, we are just trying to space them out and keep them 'short and sweet' so that they don't take too much toll on our dear David. 

Getting some sleep. White noise/rain on the Ipod to help him sleep in peace - the staff chatter
and clatter  in the halls gets a bit much for him!

Not so easy to see on this grey and rainy day, but straight out there is the lake - and
his little patio! :)

It's a bit of an emotional kick in the guts for us all to have him in the hospice, but we are grateful for this beautiful place and the care it provides. Most of all we want David to be as comfortable as possible.

Will try to update very soon as to how he is settling in, as it has only been his first day. He loves being at home, so hoping he settles ok into this new place, as it's never quite the same. We are all 'learning on the job' with this, so forgive our clumsy attempts to manage visits and communications as best we can in the circumstances!! 

Your love, prayers and support are gratefully received. How blessed we are to have this family and community around us. God is good, and is our ongoing source of strength and comfort during these hard days.

xx Kate

PS For those visiting, feel free to bring something to cheer up/personalise his room :) Oh, and there is a brown leather 'visitors book' on the bench that we would love you to sign xx

quiet days with david

Hi everyone,

Another update...

David is fairly stable these days, and by that I guess I mean - he is on a slow and steady decline. He has lost incredible amounts of weight, which means the large tumour sticks out of his stomach quite significantly - yes, looks about six months pregnant! :( He is very, very weak and rarely leaves his bed these days. He mostly sleeps but can rally for a chat when he is up to it. Still has his good humour in those good moments, but he is finding it harder to be as social as its very draining for him. He sometimes gets overwhelmed with the nausea and dry wretches which is pretty traumatic for his body to handle. He is still eating pretty well, though not a lot - as much as we can get into him (the nourishing meals provided by the church and his family entice him to eat! so grateful for them!). He is topping up his nutrition with 'protein drinks' provided by the Palliative Care Team, giving him extra calories. The Palliative care nurses and doctor visit pretty much every day or second day and have been an incredible support and resource.

For the last couple of weeks, David has been having pain and nausea meds via syringe through the butterfly clip/port in his arm. Yesterday he moved to the 'next stage' which is called a 'driver'. This is a small box (size of a DVD or so) which holds all the nausea/pain medications, and they slowly and constantly feed into his arm through a tube and the same butterfly clip. Again, this is an improvement on managing things, means the medications are constant and slow release and also means Mum in particular doesn't have to give quite so many medications every four hours. He still takes some tablets but the driver does most of the work now. This gets topped up by the nurses every 48 hours.

He may be going into hospice soon for a 'respite' week or so to help manage his pain and nausea better... when a bed becomes available and depending on how he is doing at the time. We shall see, but just a heads up that this is now on the horizon.

Catherine and David are very encouraged and appreciative of all the lovely visits, cards and messages. As the care for David becomes more intense, and his capacity weakens, they are having to 'cordon off' more time to just rest together and have some quiet time and space. But during the 'open windows', visits and contact are welcomed and do wonders for their spirits :) If you want to get in touch, best way is to contact me (first preference) or Catherine (second preference) to arrange a time that is suitable. We are trying to space out visits a little more just so it doesn't get too overwhelming or tiring for David. So grateful for everyone's sensitivity and support in this area as I know all of us love David so much and just want to enjoy every moment with him possible!


As always, thank you all for your love, prayers, practical support and all the rest. We remain so very grateful.

xx Kate

the 'coffee club' - David has always met up with this group of guys from church on Thursday mornings for coffee and chats. Now they come to him :) Rod, Brian, David R and Paul - all such a great blessing to David!

Anne visited from Melbourne last weekend. David got to enjoy a lovely footrub and moisturizing :) Soaking up the spa treatment, thanks Annie x

New Pain Management

Hi everyone,

Just a small update again as things move along. 

David is now being managed by the Palliative Care team, he has both a Doctor and nurses who visit a few times a week as well as being on call 24/7 which is such a great support. Poor David has been having a lot of increasing burning pain in his torso/back area lately, as well as nausea. He had been unable to sleep very well because of this, and hardly eat, which of course makes everything harder on him, he has been very weak, vomiting etc. 

When I was there one day last week and he was pretty bad, Catherine/Mum called the Palliative Care nurse who came over quickly and ended up putting a butterfly port (? I think it's a port?!) into his arm, which means that pain and nausea meds can be given via syringe (the nurse taught us both to do this). The nurse said that the other meds probably weren't being absorbed very well, especially due to all the issues in his insides, plus these new meds are more slow release so keep him a little more constant. Since then, he is feeling a bit better/less burning pain which we are very thankful for. Able to sleep better too.

They are talking about bringing in a hospital bed to the house to make things easier for David and for Mum who is the amazing nurse as well as devoted wife! We will see if/when that happens. If his pain/nausea gets really bad again, a few days in hospice to get things under control is also an option.

He is mostly sleepy, very tired and weak. But in his good moments he can still have a little chat and a smile and even a joke, and those are very precious times indeed.

Update again soon. Thanks as always for the encouraging cards and letters, the nourishing meals that help inspire David to eat when he doesn't often feel like it, the visits and texts and most of all, the love and prayers poured out on David and Catherine which is definitely lifting them up and strengthening them through this tough time. They are deeply touched and grateful for YOU ALL, and the rest of the family is on their behalf too!!!! Much love xx Kate

update

Hi all,

Sorry I have not updated in a while, there has not been much 'news' as such. Obviously David is still very unwell and in a lot of pain, exhaustion, discomfort. We have learned that is often hard to tell what is the symptom of the disease and what is a symptom of the various medications he takes. He has been on a short course of steroids for the last few weeks, and it has had the lovely side effect of giving him more energy (in very short bursts) which means he has been able to have some good conversations, short outings, etc. This has been a real blessing to him and to everyone who gets to enjoy his company! :) Some precious memories have been made.

Due to other side effects he needs to come off the steroids now but may go back on them another time... we shall see, under advice from his Doctors of course.

Over the last couple weekends, David and Catherine have had all four of the interstate kids (Iain, Woz, Meg and Anne) come to visit for a weekend which has been just lovely for them all. And a great support too!

I want to mention again how grateful C&D are for the ongoing pouring out of support, prayers and practical help. They are so touched and grateful - everyone has been amazing . David's family are always so eager and ready to do anything for their beloved brother and son.  Our beautiful church family has been quietly chugging along providing D&C with meals for months now - an incredible help and blessing in so many ways. David wants to write something to say 'thank you' to everyone via this blog, so when he gets the energy I will post that up.... keep checking back :)

I know they have also been greatly encouraged by the text messages, emails and cards arriving in the mail. Though it is not always easy to talk about what they are going through over and over to every person, I know every card that comes in the mail really makes them smile, lifts their spirits and strengthens them both in this tough journey. They definitely feel lifted up by the community around them cheering them on... so thank you all for that. If you would like to send a little card or something, please do... I don't want to post their address on the web, but you can email me on livinglovinglaughingtogetherATgmailDOTcom if you would like it, and I will email you their details.

Knowing how to respond to the common question of 'How's David?' is a tricky one. Obviously he is not doing well, and he is not getting better. But some days he is a little more energetic/comfortable/able to chat than others. Generally he is very tired, very weary, and in a lot of discomfort as the tumour grows to such a significant size and pushes all his other organs around. I can't imagine what this feels like, but I know it isn't good. He has a lot of pain and sometimes nausea. How he feels can change within minutes through out the day. Generally his energetic bursts last about 30 mins (of talk time or whatever). We have learned not to plan or predict but simply take each moment as it comes, supporting him through the down times and embracing the good ones. Catherine is working tirelessly and endlessly as his beloved wife (or 'girlfriend' as he likes to call her), carer and support. She is doing a wonderful job in an incredibly hard situation.

Thanks all, will try to touch base again soon xx Kate

home again

Hi everyone,

Catherine and David are now home from their coast holiday with church friends. It was a lovely time with friends, refreshing for Catherine/Mum especially to be near the beach which she loves! David had good and bad moments, as usual most of his time was spent sleeping/resting but he was able to have a few outings, like to the markets one day. Mum drove him down to the beach where they were able to sit in the car and eat hot chips together while watching the waves.

C&D spent two extra days at the coast just the two of them which was a very nice peaceful time for them to spend together. David was also able to eat quite well which is such a blessing!

They came home on Thursday. David was booked in for another chemo sessions on Friday but he has made the decision not to continue with the chemo from here on in. He gave it a go but the side effects were just too much for him to deal with on top of how wretched and weak he already feels. (Side effects like extreme nausea, flu like symptoms, throat and mouth ulcers, amongst other things). It is always a balancing act between treating the issues and the treatment causing more issues in the mean time?! It is a hard decision but everyone around David supports his right to make whatever decision feels best for him. His wonderful medical team will continue to try to keep him as comfortable as possible.

DAY OFF

In order to give C&D some quiet time together in the midst of countless appointments, phone calls and lots of wonderful visitors, we are now trying to institute a 'day off' for them each week. This is so they can just get a quiet day of rest together, with opportunity to have quality time to spend together  and a bit of 'down time' from the relentlessness that is their life managing David's condition and everything that comes with it.

The idea is that this day will generally be Mondays, so we are asking that people not visit or call them on Mondays.

This will hopefully enable them to rest and have time together on this day. Their 'day off' will sometimes change if they have to attend an essential appointment on Monday, eg this week they have an apt with the oncologist on Monday so their day off (for this week only) will be Thursday.

If you are keen to visit on another day, please contact me and I will try to sort something out if/when David is up to it.

Iain is visiting with them this weekend (he comes to town from Sydney almost every weekend and is a fantastic support) and I was over for dinner tonight too. David was well enough to sit up for dinner with us and prayed a beautiful prayer, full of thanks for all the love and support he is receiving from everyone. So, just passing on how grateful he is and how loved he feels. Thank you everyone! :)

They have quite a few appointments this week with various medical people, so no doubt I will update later in the week on any news arising from that.

xx Kate

More chemo and more holidays!

Another update!

Today David had his second chemo session. I was able to take him in for it as a dear church friend Michelle looked after my son Miles (thanks!!!), and this gave Catherine/Mum time to prepare for their trip away (more on that later). However, just the energy it took for him this morning to get up, showered, dressed and there totally wore him out and he was also feeling very nauseous and weak. Couldn't even sit up or hardly talk, poor guy. I could tell the chemo nurse was very concerned when we arrived at how bad he was, so she ordered blood tests to check if he was up to having the chemo and also checked in with his oncologist. This meant a lot longer waiting around but the plus side is they gave him a bed rather than an armchair, so he could properly sleep (woohoo, upgrade!). Oh, and after a bit of rest and a drink etc, David did start feeling better, he wasn't totally wiped out the whole time.

So, we arrived at 11am and after checking bloods and talking with his oncologist, the chemo was able to start around 2.30pm and he finally got to go home with Catherine about 5pm (I left at 2.30 to get kids from school, Mum arrived to switch over).

I just have to share this photo and give a shout out to the AMAZING, lovely and dear Cancer Volunteers at the cancer centre, These ladies are so sweet, they walk around offering to get everyone a drink, a sandwich, whatever they want. They even have *real mugs* not those tiny plastic hospital mugs and even TIM TAMS not just boring plain biscuits. You can see from this photo that they really hit the spot with David :) These volunteers are just so wonderful, they are there every day and are so caring and supportive and kind to everyone, it really melts your heart and brings a tear to the eye too, that they give their time to show some practical love to the many, many, many people there getting cancer treatment. Anyway, just had to give them a shout out! I haven't found out details of what their 'organisation' is, or if you can donate etc, but I might try to next time. I could actually go on and on about the many wonderful organisations and people who do so many lovely things for people with cancer, it has really been so heartwarming to learn about them all.

Anyway back to David... who btw is blinking in this photo because he *always* blinks in every photo! I took three photos - blinked in every one!!!!! ;)

Anyway, another good thing to come from the day was that after seeing how he was struggling with nausea and energy they proscribed him another medication which is actually some kind of steroid. It is only a short term drug (he only can take it for about 2-3 weeks) but it should not only help give him a break from the nausea but also give him more energy, appetite etc. Needless, to say we are pretty excited to see if it does have this result, even for a little while!

On the down side, blood test results showed his haemoglobin levels were very low, hence his lack of energy. So he will probably be getting a blood transfusion in a week or so.

Anyway, the other bit of news is that David and Catherine are off on holidays again tomorrow (I know, I know, life is a holiday for these two right now, heehee! Good on them!!). They are going to the coast with four or five other couples, very dear friends from church who they usually holiday with each year. So glad they will get some time together and hopefully David is ok for it, they will just see how he goes. They are going for about four nights, but C&D are planning to stay a couple more nights afterwards, just to have some time together the two of them by the beach, which will be very special. Really praying they can make some lovely memories together and David will be well enough to enjoy it, chat, maybe walk down to the beach, etc.

I think that's everything for now. Thanks everyone as always for your love, prayers, support, meals, help, calls, etc etc. Love, Kate

chemo trial

Hi all,

Firstly, David has adjusted some of his meds on Thursday (he is on so many, it's a constant juggle!) to go off one of the strongest anti-nausea meds he was on as it really made him super drowsy and groggy.

On Friday he went to hospital to start his first round of chemo. As has been mentioned before, David has previously chosen to not do chemo as he wanted to focus on quality of life. However at this stage the Doctors suggested some chemo could help stem some of the gut issues he is having as a result of the tumour, so he has agreed to give it a try. Basically, if it makes things worse he will stop, if it makes things better, he will continue. We will see.

Anyway, Anne is in town for a few days so she and Mum took David to his first session on Easter Friday - Happy Easter ;) The patients are very well looked after there. He had two bags of the chemo meds, took a couple of hours. Afterwards, he actually felt great and very chatty and alert the rest of the day!! Which was just lovely. This was likely due to going off the strong anti-nausea meds the day before (he is still on two others, I won't even try to get into the details of them all here!). Anyway. he has up days and down days and we just all enjoy the good days when he has them. But we are obviously all grateful he didn't have any immediate bad reactions to the chemo. The chemo 'round' is one day a week for three weeks, with a week's break before it starts again. We will just see how things go and of course what David decides to do along the way.

Today (Saturday) he didn't feel so good, however :(

Anne has been in town for a few days (staying after family camp) which has been wonderful. and Iain also came down for the weekend. Together they have been helping out both Catherine and David with a bunch of things which is such a blessing and huge support!

So that is where things are at for now. Will update again soon once things settle in.

Love, Kate xx

home from our family holiday

Well, we are back from our very special family holiday! We got back home yesterday afternoon.

Twenty of us (11 adults, 9 kids under 7) spent 7 nights at a beautiful farm stay/Olive grove in Kangaroo Valley. It was wonderful, with many special memories made. We weren't too sure how long we would stay or how David would go but thanks to God, he did well and we were all able to stay the whole time. Beyond grateful for this blessing!! It was a bittersweet time but also just a precious time of togetherness and memory making. It was so good and healing to be together as a family.

The days were quiet and peaceful. We spent pretty much the whole time just hanging out at the camp as there was plenty to do there and it was such a gorgeous relaxing venue in the bushland. We spotted wombats and echidnas too! The kids had a blast running around and playing and feeding the farm animals. There was lots of laughter and of course noise from the many little kids!

David did spend most of his time sleeping/resting in his little cottage. At times one of us would go in and spend a little quiet one on one time with him, and once or twice a day he would come out to the common area of the camp (an undercover area with dining table, couches, ping pong table, campfire etc) to hang out with the group which was really special too. We had a wheelchair which was a huge help to getting him around and helped him conserve his energy for chatting! We shared a lot of laughs, stories and yes, tears too.

Sitting around the campfire together one night was a really lovely time. Roasting marshmallows and potatoes and damper! He also ate really well for most of camp (each family group would make a big meal for everyone each night, so there was plenty of delicious variety to motivate him!).

On the day we were leaving he had quite a bit of pain but we were thankfully able to get him home with various driving configurations to make him most comfortable. Home now, settling back in and will see where the days to come take us. I know David was so grateful to be able to go on family camp and we so appreciated all the love and support that made it possible.

Will update tomorrow on 'the state of things' now we are home, just wanted to get this post up ASAP as I know many lovely folk are eager to hear. It was SO sweet to know so many dear friends, family and church were hoping and praying this holiday would happen. It did, woohoo!!! :) We felt you all cheering us on, your thoughts and prayers were so encouraging.



Wanted to also share these stunning family photos taken by my dear and incredibly talented sister in law, Alex. Incredibly precious images that mean so much to us all!

Our quirky, wonderful clan xx

Miles climbed onto the couch where his Papa was resting, so keen for a cuddle.

Nine little cousins :) Moments of mayhem and magic xx

heading home, and then away

Hi all,

Well, the latest is that David is doing quite well lately, he has been eating full meals and everything! Really good to see him enjoy a steak dinner :)

The medical and hospital staff have been working together to prepare David for his trip away and are comfortable with his trip and the support he has set up. They have been wonderful. 

God willing, the plan is that he will 'check out' of the hospital tomorrow sometime (Tuesday), then we all leave for our family holiday in Kangaroo Valley (2.5 hours away) on Wednesday. He will be well set up with all his medications to manage pain and nausea and our dear friend/nurse Helen O on 24 hour call if we ever feel we need more advice (as well as all his other medical support staff of course!). We will also get a wheelchair for getting out and about if he needs/wants it.

The plan is to try a round of chemo when we get back. David is just going to see how his body responds to it. 

We have lots of contingencies and support in place for while we are away. The awesome cancer care coordinator is even checking into finding a local palliative care nurse to come check in on David. The original plan was for us all (11 adults, 9 children) to stay for a week but we are going to take it very much on a day by day basis. It will be whatever it is, supporting David and Mum will come first, we may cut it short if he isn't going too well, and that will be ok. 

The place we are going is a very peaceful little 'farm stay' type place in an olive grove! Lots of animals, wide open spaces, and pools and playgrounds for the kids, and best of all, peace and quiet in the bushland for us to just hang out together. We are very much looking fwd to time to be together, make memories and support each other.

Appreciate your prayers for David and all of us over the next week. Please be aware that reception is likely to  be very patchy up there so may not be many/any phone calls or blog updates till we get back. (The owners of the cottages is aware of our situation and we have use of their landline for any medical situations).

Thanks everyone, for your ongoing support. How blessed we are to have such a caring community. We are truly grateful.

Love, Kate

photos!

Today at the hospital, we were sitting outside in the courtyard, enjoying a rare moment of sunshine and lovely breeze, just having a little chat.

David suddenly said 'Are there any photos of me up on that blog?' 'No...' 'You can put some up'.

I had to chuckle because David is so not the type to want to put up photos of himself :) I didn't ask why, I'm just doing it!

Taken at their home a couple weeks ago. Watching the magpies eat the oats, with Miles. Mum and David treat these magpies like pets, it's so cute :) They come calling every day, asking for oats :) Miles loves watching them with Papa too.

Papa and Miles playing cars. 

Enjoying a bit of sunshine and 'glorious fresh air' with David in the courtyard. He loves the chance to be
outside and glory in God's creation. He takes pleasure in every leaf and flower, every scent and gentle breeze.
(Taken today)

He still knows how to relax :) (Taken today)

A quiet moment between a couple who love each other so very much. (Taken today)

Nibbling on some energising protein balls I made :)

I took this pic for Lily, this is David holding up some writing she did, her telling of the story
of Genesis :) David loved it! He had such a chuckle and smile about all her precious writing.

Sorry, these are just grainy iPhone snaps but I think they show through David's beautiful, positive, peaceful spirit. He said again today 'I know I am going to a good place'. Very true, but we are still going to miss him so much. We won't stop praying!

Well, David gave me a job and now it's done?? :)

xx

decisions and plans

Hi all,

Well, I have an update though the update has changed about four times since my last update! The messages we are getting seem to change regularly! I will just cut to the end result to save all the to and for-ing.

*Please note again my lack of medical training, I try to convey this stuff as best as my hasty note taking allows but probably don't have everything right!*

Basically, the advice made this morning was to not put a stent in as it was not deemed feasible to insert it for various reasons (basically, it was too much of a mess in that area, I think). The next plan was instead to do what is called a 'laprascopic bypass' where they join up the bowel to the stomach, bypassing  the obstructed area. However, this afternoon we were informed by the Gastroenterologist that though they could do this, they didn't strongly advise it. It was likely to be a very temporary measure as it would not be long before the tumour once again impacted on the area. It was also likely that they open him up and find more cancer than they can see on the scans and can't do it anyway. PLUS the very real possibilities of complications, infection, etc, and a six week healing time. So, the decision was made to not do the procedure.

As it is currently not a total blockage, he can still eat and drink in small doses and in fact last night ate a full dinner! Which was great :)

The more practical info is things like, the main tumour is now 15x15cm, with multiple other tumours around the peritoneal lining and other areas. All things considering, they are pretty amazed at how well he is doing :)

The medical team are focused on keeping things 'moving' through the body as best they can through other avenues. And they are doing a great job managing his pain and nausea. This afternoon we had a great time in between doctors visits. David was quite lively, we even went out into the courtyard, he took a little stroll, and we had a good chat and laugh.

Mum (Catherine) has been doing an amazing job caring and supporting David and taking copious notes to track the information from the countless doctors we see. At last count, we see several different levels of Doctors from Oncology, Surgical, Palliative, Gastroenterology.... you get the drift! Not to mention the Cancer Care Coordinator (this woman is SUCH a blessing!! She helps coordinate everything and explain things to us. So helpful!!). And all the nurses, etc etc.

We have a family holiday planned for next Wednesday, with the five kids and their families, and Catherine and David in Kangaroo Valley. This is very important to our whole family, and all the medical team have been wonderfully supportive and determined to help us make this happen. We are so grateful for this, and hoping and praying it is able to happen, as all the siblings (in total, 11 adults and 9 kids!) travel from Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney for this special time together.

Also, David is now also considering/planning on trying a round of chemotherapy. We are not yet sure when this will commence, we will speak to the Oncologist again on Monday. He may have a dose before we go on holiday, or start when we get back.

Right now the plan for David is to stay in hospital at least till early next week. They are taking good care of him there and keeping a close eye on how things are progressing and managing his pain and nausea really well. David is enjoying the stream of visitors too :)

I think that's everything for now, will update again when there is more news.
Thanks everyone xx Kate



"the task ahead of you is never as great as the power behind you"

still in hospital but doing better

Hi everyone,

Sorry for delay in update, this is my first chance now to write something as it's been a big day.

Ok, well to backtrack, David got admitted to a (shared) room last night, I think it was about 8pm (on the Oncology ward). He had been able to keep taking sips of drinks and bites of food every now and then which was a good thing. Also, things seem to be functioning better in his body which I think indicates that the blockage between stomach and bowel is not total but just partial?

This morning he was feeling a lot better. Well, better in that the butterfly needle (which slow releases anti-nausea meds over 24 hours) is doing a great job in helping him not feel so sick. Also the pain management is working really well so he is not in too much pain either - BIG relief! He is mostly very weak and tired now. But he has been getting small bites of food and drink all day and seems to be perking up a bit which is great! After a few days without really eating, he has a lot of catching up to do ;) Catherine, he and I even had a nice chat/laugh earlier and he enjoyed a few other visitors too in between naps.

So, the situation is that he is still admitted into hospital, and waiting to see the Gastroenterology (GE) team about putting a stent in, which is like a tube that helps dialate the tube between stomach and bowel so he  can eat and drink more/better. We have been sort of told by the Oncologists that YES, the GE people can and will do this procedure - yay! (But we haven't had official meeting with them yet). When the Gastroenterology team will turn up, we don't know - David's case probably not seen as super urgent. We also don't know how long he will be admitted in hospital for or when the stent will be done. Apparently it's a fairly minor procedure (keyhole maybe?) done under local anesthetic (??) or something stronger than that but I know it's not general anesthetic anyway. It seems likely this won't happen till early next week...

So, that's where things are at for now. We are so thankful he is in less discomfort and pain, and hoping that he can keep up the nourishing food and liquids so he can regain some strength and energy.

On behalf of Mum and David, I would like to say a HUGE thank you for the outpouring of love, support and prayers, they are truly grateful for them and feel very loved. Thank you all for being so kind and understanding as we muddle through this with all the stress, exhaustion, and emotion involved. Having a supportive team cheering them on and ready to lend a hand makes a huge difference.. how blessed they are :)

As for how long he will be in hospital, we don't really know yet. He could be discharged any minute or stay there till they put the stent in. But for now I think it's a good place for him to be as they are taking good care of him and making sure to manage his pain/nausea and everything well.

If you would like to visit, you can either call/text Mum or myself to find a good time, or try your luck just dropping in (just be aware that someone else may already be there too!). David doesn't have his phone with him in hospital, FYI. Even if David is resting (as he frequently is), it can be nice to just read a book near by or whatever while he sleeps :)

Anyway, I am not a doctor so not sure if I have conveyed all the medical stuff correctly but that is roughly where things are at. I will update again when we have more news.

Love, Kate

Hospital

Hi all,

Writing this on my phone from hospital so excuse poor typing!

David has been feeling unwell, nauseous and unable to keep anything down for the last couple days. He was having lovely time at the coast w his family but started vomiting and since returning home unable to eat or drink. He had a pretty bad night. Catherine brought him into emergency dept today about lunchtime after checking in w the palliative care doctor who advised it and called ahead. I got here about 4pm after mark came home from work early. 

They have done several different types f scans, given him two bags of fluids for dehydration and some other meds including some butterfly insert needle thing for managing nausea. 

The expected issue (that we discussed w palliative care dr a couple weeks ago as possible to occur) is that likely the tumour is blocking the tube that goes from stomach to bowel making it hard for him to digest things. They are not sure yet if the blockage is partial or total. We are waiting for the gastroenterology team to Come talk to us about it and whether it's 'worth' putting a stent in - this is a procedure to dialate the tube. 

The ct scan did reveal that the tumour has doubled in size since December scan. The tumour is pushing against the stomach and somewhere else too, I'm not sure. 

Anyway, not too good :( 

David has been admitted and we are just waiting in emergency to be moved to a proper room and to see what's next. He has had a few small sips of drink and bites of food which is good. Will keep everyone updated when I can. Prayers and good thoughts greatly appreciated 

Xx kate

Family Time

Hi everyone,

Another small update. Catherine and David just left today for four nights away at the coast with David's four siblings, their partners and his dear 94 year old father. It will be a very quiet but special time for them all to be together, especially in an area where they all used to holiday together as children.

There is not much else to update except more of the same. He is very weak, tired and usually has pain to some degree. His newer pain meds seem to be helping keep things more level though which is a blessing. The Doctor at our last palliative care apt said that the pain doesn't necessarily keep getting worse and worse - so that was a BIG relief to us all as we kinda assumed it did! He is not going out of the house much except when necessary for appointments or for church which he always makes a priority if possible. Riding in the car is pretty uncomfortable for him (the bumping is quite painful) and as things can turn quickly he does like to stay close to home for the most part.

The delicious variety of meals that keep being delivered really helps encourage him to eat, which helps give him strength and energy, though he isn't able to eat a lot. Thanks to everyone at church who helps out with this!!

He gets easily tired just from talking, so if you are popping by for a visit I suggest limiting it to 30-45 minutes, unless he is having a super good day - he will tell you if this is the case :) He does get a lot of encouragement from visits, when he is up to handling them, we are just trying to space them out to a manageable amount.

Thanks for your prayers, for your support and for reading along :)

God is good and comforts us greatly through this journey.

xx Kate

Appointments Etc

Hi everyone,

Just an update on David. He had a busy few weeks with lots of visitors, including his dear friends Grant and Chrissy from NZ for 5 days.

This week there have been quite a few appointments. Yesterday we met with his Oncologist and today with the Doctor at the Hospice. Both were very kind and supportive. Really, it is about managing the pain at this point. Previously David has been in quite a lot of pain but has increased his dosage recently and it seems to be more under control which is a blessing. There are side effects to the pain meds, particularly sleepiness, so he spends a lot of time sleeping. He has up days and down days but there is a visible decline happening. He needs to rest a lot after short visits or appointments.

There will be more home care/respite/support service available in the future but for now they are going ok with attending appointments as needed (but not too many!). He is also doing a few natural therapies to help with his pain and energy levels.

The church meal roster has been working well, with so many delicious and lovingly prepared meals being dropped off twice a week by our caring church community. Catherine and David send a huge thanks to everyone for this. The variety (and extra love in the meals) is I think enticing David to eat more which is great as he often doesn't feel like it. But he needs to eat for his energy! Meals prepped and ready to go is a huge load lifted from Catherine too as she is already so busy with full time caring and a hundred other things that need to be done.

Family and church have been supportive in so many ways, it is all so very appreciated! Today when I took my parents to the Palliative care apt, Peter M from church was there, pruning back the whole garden - what a kind thing to do!! (Three trips to the tip, I believe!!). There are so many lovely things like this, I won't try to mention them all but they are all so appreciated.

David's wonderful family are helping out with taking David to some apts and are going to start doing some 'respite' sessions, so Mum can get some time out too. We are all on a learning curve here and thank everyone for their love, patience and understanding.

David is still strong in his spirits and faith. He had to fill out a survey at Palliative care today on his various levels of distress about what is happening and he kept saying 'I'm in pain but I don't feel distressed about it!'. He is very resilient through all of this.

Texts and emails are still the best way to get in touch. The home phone can often be off the hook when they need a break, mobiles are probably a better way to get in touch when needed - please understand that though they are not always up to taking calls though they very much appreciate your love and care.

At the end of next week, Catherine and David will be going to the coast with his family for a (very quiet, low key!!) few days, which will be a very special time of togetherness.

Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts.

xx Kate

visitors galore!

Hi all,

Just a quick update!

David is chugging along, on various treatments and supplements. Has days of bad pain and days where it is not so bad. He has some new pain meds which are keeping things more generally at bay, eg a 'maintenance dose' I think its called? which he takes every day, then another med for when it gets extra bad. He is very tired and has a lot of rest time but tries to stay active at other times when he can, still going on walks etc. His spirits are still good :)

David and Catherine have both accessed the excellent counselling services available from the Cancer Support Service.

His kids have all been to visit lately, first Warren for a weekend from Sydney a couple weeks ago, then Iain from Sydney and Anne from Melbourne both here last weekend. Megan just flew in from Brisbane on Tuesday and went home today. So, as you can imagine, it's been such a blessing for him to have his kids visiting, just time to hang out together, and also the emotional and physical support they provided to both David and Catherine.

Next week, two of David's dearest and oldest friends Grant and Chrissy are flying in from New Zealand for five days which will be a very special time for them all.

The church has set up a meal roster (twice a week at this stage), coordinated by the lovely Liz K. This is a huge blessing to lift some of the mental and physical load of meal prep, with everything else they have going on. If you want to go on this roster or help in some other way, just let me know.

I think that's about it for now.

In His Love, Kate xx

Timeline so far...

• A week before Christmas (18/12/14), David presented to ER with severe abdominal pain. Scan revealed fist sized tumour on the pancreas.
• Five days in hospital, finally a biopsy.
• About January 4th, biopsy results confirmed it was cancer (as expected)\
• January 7th, first meeting with oncologist to confirm Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer, with metastasis to the liver and possibly hip bone.

Email to church after first Oncologist Meeting - 07/01/15

hi everyone,

 

thanks for you fervent prayers.

 

we had a long day with the oncologist etc today. forgive me for sharing the facts bluntly but I know people will want to know. the diagnosis is Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer with metastasis to the liver, and possibly the hip bone. the prognosis is less than six months without treatment, maybe 12 months-ish with very aggressive chemo treatment, or somewhere in the middle (8-10months-ish) with a less aggressive (eg harsh side effects) chemo treatment. It is a lot of information to absorb and a lot of decisions to be made about what treatment they will choose (quality of life vs longevity) and from where (public/private etc). Please pray for Mum and david as they process and make these hard decisions, knowing God has them in His hands and heart all the while. We live in hope but accept whatever God has in store. Please also pray for his family/kids who are having a terrible time processing this news, we all love him so much.

 

love Kate

update on david // email from 11/02/15

Hi dear family, friends and church,

Just writing on behalf of Catherine and David (aka, the parents!) to update everyone on how things are going for them these days. I know so many people are concerned, praying, thinking of them!

UPDATES:

Since the diagnosis of Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer (with secondary cancers), we have moved into a new way of life that is very different (and still surreal) for all of us. David has made the difficult decision to decline doing chemo as the ravages of that treatment was only going to offer a couple more months anyway while taking up a lot of time and making him feel worse than he already does. He has opted for quality of life over quantity (if it comes to that). This was a very hard choice and he is grateful to everyone for respecting his right to make the decision that feels best for him. He is still seeing his oncologist and other wonderful cancer support/care people (including palliative care for pain relief), as well as using some natural therapies.

As for ‘how he is doing’ – he is up and down, physically. He generally has at least mild gut pain at all times – but sometimes it is very bad indeed – debilitating, really. He tires very easily, finds it hard to talk too much, and needs a lot of rest and sleep. It is hard to predict how he will feel each day, and his condition can change throughout the day too. Sometimes he feels good and can chat and laugh and hang out – those are good times

Emotionally and spiritually he is at peace, though I know he finds it hard seeing how this effects everyone around him. I tell him we are all blessed and privileged to care for him and we all know he would be doing the same for us if the tables were turned. He is being a very good boy trying to eat very well, take all his meds and supplements (MANY!) and when he is up to it, he goes for a 2.5km walk or even bike riding! He is doing his best to keep his body as strong as he can.

What else? David has stopped working, Catherine is still babysitting at home a day or two a week. We see the oncologist later in the month at which point I imagine another scan will be scheduled.

PRACTICAL STUFF:

For those wanting to get in touch with them, my best suggestion is to use texting or email. The home phone is also an option but you might frequently find it engaged – either because they are already in the midst of a lengthy phone call, or because they take it off the hook sometimes in order to have time to rest. I know it might be frustrating at times to not be able to get through, however I suggest using text or email as this allows them to get back to you at a time that suits them. With frequent appointments, medical-related errands, cooking special foods and drinks,  taking meds and all the phone calls, visits and so on, as you can imagine it is very emotionally as well as physically draining so they do need a fair bit of down time to just rest, process and strengthen. The load on Catherine is significant (most of you know she already had a pretty big load of her own health issues) so she also needs time to rest.

If you are wanting to drop by for a visit, again I suggest texting or emailing first (or call if you can get through!) to make a suitable time. They would prefer people do not drop by unannounced as there is just no telling what state David (or mum!) will be in, and they are often resting or heading out or recovering from an apt. It is all very draining for them both, so advanced warning of a visit is much appreciated (it can be hard to rest not knowing if the door bell will ring any minute). If it takes them a while to return a call/email/text please understand it is not for lack of love for you, but just that they are functioning at almost full capacity already and are doing what they can each day to get by. I know David still loves and wants to spend time with everyone, he just has to pace himself and do it in short doses when he is up to it. I know he is greatly encouraged by the lovely texts, cards and letters coming in too

Please feel free to email or call me for updates along the way if you would like, I am happy to chat. I know everyone is so very caring and concerned and we as a family are truly grateful for that. What a blessing to have an amazing support network during such a time as this!!

For everyone offering help (who live locally!), thank you so much. To be honest, it is hard for them (and even me!) to have the brain power/energy at the moment to even think of ways for people to help, or know how to ask for it in the moment,  but we will try to ask for help when needs do come up. If you can think of help that you can offer, please just let me or them know. 

This is turning into a novel, sorry, just trying to pass on as much info in one hit as I can. I will try to be more regular in future with updating people as I know so many are wondering and wanting to keep up to date. We are so grateful, truly, for everyone’s love and support. Right now, they are mostly just trying to chug along and cherish each day. We will see the oncologist later in the month and perhaps get a scan to see what state the cancer is in.

It is a challenging, emotional, exhausting time and yet we see blessings and good things happening everywhere and we know God is still at work for our good. David feels very blessed by the love surrounding him. We appreciate your prayers and good thoughts– for healing, for hope, for comfort during during this time.

Much love,

Kate

Kate's FB update 13/01/15

Hi friends. Just before christmas, David, my beloved step-dad (what an inadequate term for the father he has been to me since I was 12!!) discovered he had a large tumour on his pancreas. The official diagnosis is now Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer (with some secondary cancer too). The family is all still trying to process this devastating news, and support my beautiful Mum and David as best we can. I know cancer touches pretty much everyone’s lives these days, and for that I am just so sorry. 
For those so inclined, we would be so grateful for your prayers and good thoughts, as we face decisions around treatment and care in the time we have. Every day together is a rich treasure. We are so thankful for David’s beautifully supportive family, our loving church, our caring community. Together we will rally around to support David, come what may. He is a man of deep faith in God and has amazing strength of spirit and a peace that passes understanding. While we cling to hope and pray for healing, we will walk through whatever unfolds - God comforting and guiding every step of the way. Sorry to share this so bluntly here, but I am struggling to tell everyone one by one, so I hope you understand. Much love xx