update on david // email from 11/02/15

Hi dear family, friends and church,

Just writing on behalf of Catherine and David (aka, the parents!) to update everyone on how things are going for them these days. I know so many people are concerned, praying, thinking of them!

UPDATES:

Since the diagnosis of Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer (with secondary cancers), we have moved into a new way of life that is very different (and still surreal) for all of us. David has made the difficult decision to decline doing chemo as the ravages of that treatment was only going to offer a couple more months anyway while taking up a lot of time and making him feel worse than he already does. He has opted for quality of life over quantity (if it comes to that). This was a very hard choice and he is grateful to everyone for respecting his right to make the decision that feels best for him. He is still seeing his oncologist and other wonderful cancer support/care people (including palliative care for pain relief), as well as using some natural therapies.

As for ‘how he is doing’ – he is up and down, physically. He generally has at least mild gut pain at all times – but sometimes it is very bad indeed – debilitating, really. He tires very easily, finds it hard to talk too much, and needs a lot of rest and sleep. It is hard to predict how he will feel each day, and his condition can change throughout the day too. Sometimes he feels good and can chat and laugh and hang out – those are good times

Emotionally and spiritually he is at peace, though I know he finds it hard seeing how this effects everyone around him. I tell him we are all blessed and privileged to care for him and we all know he would be doing the same for us if the tables were turned. He is being a very good boy trying to eat very well, take all his meds and supplements (MANY!) and when he is up to it, he goes for a 2.5km walk or even bike riding! He is doing his best to keep his body as strong as he can.

What else? David has stopped working, Catherine is still babysitting at home a day or two a week. We see the oncologist later in the month at which point I imagine another scan will be scheduled.

PRACTICAL STUFF:

For those wanting to get in touch with them, my best suggestion is to use texting or email. The home phone is also an option but you might frequently find it engaged – either because they are already in the midst of a lengthy phone call, or because they take it off the hook sometimes in order to have time to rest. I know it might be frustrating at times to not be able to get through, however I suggest using text or email as this allows them to get back to you at a time that suits them. With frequent appointments, medical-related errands, cooking special foods and drinks,  taking meds and all the phone calls, visits and so on, as you can imagine it is very emotionally as well as physically draining so they do need a fair bit of down time to just rest, process and strengthen. The load on Catherine is significant (most of you know she already had a pretty big load of her own health issues) so she also needs time to rest.

If you are wanting to drop by for a visit, again I suggest texting or emailing first (or call if you can get through!) to make a suitable time. They would prefer people do not drop by unannounced as there is just no telling what state David (or mum!) will be in, and they are often resting or heading out or recovering from an apt. It is all very draining for them both, so advanced warning of a visit is much appreciated (it can be hard to rest not knowing if the door bell will ring any minute). If it takes them a while to return a call/email/text please understand it is not for lack of love for you, but just that they are functioning at almost full capacity already and are doing what they can each day to get by. I know David still loves and wants to spend time with everyone, he just has to pace himself and do it in short doses when he is up to it. I know he is greatly encouraged by the lovely texts, cards and letters coming in too

Please feel free to email or call me for updates along the way if you would like, I am happy to chat. I know everyone is so very caring and concerned and we as a family are truly grateful for that. What a blessing to have an amazing support network during such a time as this!!

For everyone offering help (who live locally!), thank you so much. To be honest, it is hard for them (and even me!) to have the brain power/energy at the moment to even think of ways for people to help, or know how to ask for it in the moment,  but we will try to ask for help when needs do come up. If you can think of help that you can offer, please just let me or them know. 

This is turning into a novel, sorry, just trying to pass on as much info in one hit as I can. I will try to be more regular in future with updating people as I know so many are wondering and wanting to keep up to date. We are so grateful, truly, for everyone’s love and support. Right now, they are mostly just trying to chug along and cherish each day. We will see the oncologist later in the month and perhaps get a scan to see what state the cancer is in.

It is a challenging, emotional, exhausting time and yet we see blessings and good things happening everywhere and we know God is still at work for our good. David feels very blessed by the love surrounding him. We appreciate your prayers and good thoughts– for healing, for hope, for comfort during during this time.

Much love,

Kate