Update

Hi everyone, 

David has declined quite a bit. He probably has hours to days left. Only God knows. Family is here, he is surrounded by love and family.

 We never ever want to let him go but also want him to be out of pain and discomfort. He is going to a better place, an eternal home of joy and Peace and for that we are so grateful. 

Will update later xx

Still in hospice

With mammoth effort on his part, David made it to church briefly on Sunday. It's so important to him
to be there, even at huge physical cost. David is such a dignified gentleman, to come to church in his pyjamas is NOT easy for him to do, even at a time like this. But he knew the energy to get 'dressed' would use up the little energy he had to actually make it to church, to worship his God and be with his church family. Just love that he knew what the true priority was - faith and people over appearances and pride. Even now, he teaches us so much xx

Hi all, 

David is still in hospice for the time being. He was too exhausted after the busy weekend of visitors and making it out to church to think about going home today. He seems to be settling into things a bit better there too, so thankful for that. So we will take it day by day as to whether he will transition back home or not, and how Catherine and his medical team think we can support him best in that.

Visitors: David asked today that any visitors just sit with him and be with him and not ask too many questions (he is finding it hard to chat/participate). Please take your lead from him on this and also keep visits to about 15 minutes. We are still trying to space out visits to suit his needs, but he does enjoy the warm presence of loved ones when he is up to it.

Grateful as always for your prayers, love and support. Will update later in the week.

Kate and all David's family xx

Settling into Hospice

Hi all,

Just a very quick update to say David is settling into hospice ok.

There is no place like home, but he is adjusting to things there. The noise, the constant coming and going of staff, and the food are all taking a bit to get used to. He is not feeling like eating a lot of things at the moment (food aversions coming and going), so we are bringing in extra supplies from home so he always has a few options available. Whatever he feels like, he gets, even if that is ice cream for lunch :) Today he had a beautiful cold tomato and basil soup made by our church sister Lucrecia, and he loved that, it was so refreshing, he ate a whole bunch :) (He really struggles with overheating at the moment).

He has been mostly sleeping and resting but enjoying a few lovely visitors too. Sometimes he sleeps through the visits, but that's ok too. The first couple of days he struggled with nausea and vomiting but today seemed a lot better, feeling less queasy and more alert - thankful for that!

No plans yet about going home, we will leave it till Monday or so then see what Catherine/David/the medical staff think they want to do from there.

Ongoing prayers and support much appreciated xx

David moves to Hospice

Hi everyone,

This morning a bed became 'available' and so David moved to the local hospice. Obviously, this marks a further decline in how he is doing, but is also an opportunity for the medical staff to more closely monitor his medications and well being for a while and see how he responds, as well as a bit of respite for his amazing full-time carer/nurse/wife, Catherine. The plan is to see how he is in about a week, if he rallies again, he will hopefully go back home (that is David and Catherine's 'plan') or otherwise may stay there. We shall see, taking it day by day at this point...

The hospice is lovely, filled with very caring staff and volunteers. It is right on the lake, and David even has a view of the water from his (private) bedroom! Lots of lovely outdoor spaces, gardens, etc, they have it set up so nicely. They even have mattresses and a spare room so Mum can sleep there either in his room or a separate room overnight if she wants to at some point.

David has been increasingly tired and weak lately and more and more just requesting time to sleep or be on his own. He is craving peace and quiet. The hospice coordinator said today this is a natural stage of just turning more inward and needing more solo time. So we are trying to respect that while of course all wanting to spend as much time with our beloved David as possible!! It's a tricky balance at times.

For Visitors (apart from close family): 

We are so grateful for everyone who wants to show David their love by visiting! If you wish to visit, we ask that you do not just drop by unannounced as we are trying to space visits out a bit so David gets plenty of rest in between. Please text/contact me if you are keen to visit, just so we can schedule things so he gets some good down time in between visits. Also, we ask that you please keep visits to 30 minutes maximum (hospice visits are usually 10 minutes!). I know it's hard, but we would really appreciate if you would 'self-monitor' this time, so Catherine and the nursing staff don't have to do that on top of everything else. David really appreciates visits but does find them very tiring, so finishing up before he gets really exhausted helps it not take its toll too much. If he is begging you to stick around, of course, that's fine - he's the boss ;) Again, visits are most welcome and appreciated, we are just trying to space them out and keep them 'short and sweet' so that they don't take too much toll on our dear David. 

Getting some sleep. White noise/rain on the Ipod to help him sleep in peace - the staff chatter
and clatter  in the halls gets a bit much for him!

Not so easy to see on this grey and rainy day, but straight out there is the lake - and
his little patio! :)

It's a bit of an emotional kick in the guts for us all to have him in the hospice, but we are grateful for this beautiful place and the care it provides. Most of all we want David to be as comfortable as possible.

Will try to update very soon as to how he is settling in, as it has only been his first day. He loves being at home, so hoping he settles ok into this new place, as it's never quite the same. We are all 'learning on the job' with this, so forgive our clumsy attempts to manage visits and communications as best we can in the circumstances!! 

Your love, prayers and support are gratefully received. How blessed we are to have this family and community around us. God is good, and is our ongoing source of strength and comfort during these hard days.

xx Kate

PS For those visiting, feel free to bring something to cheer up/personalise his room :) Oh, and there is a brown leather 'visitors book' on the bench that we would love you to sign xx

quiet days with david

Hi everyone,

Another update...

David is fairly stable these days, and by that I guess I mean - he is on a slow and steady decline. He has lost incredible amounts of weight, which means the large tumour sticks out of his stomach quite significantly - yes, looks about six months pregnant! :( He is very, very weak and rarely leaves his bed these days. He mostly sleeps but can rally for a chat when he is up to it. Still has his good humour in those good moments, but he is finding it harder to be as social as its very draining for him. He sometimes gets overwhelmed with the nausea and dry wretches which is pretty traumatic for his body to handle. He is still eating pretty well, though not a lot - as much as we can get into him (the nourishing meals provided by the church and his family entice him to eat! so grateful for them!). He is topping up his nutrition with 'protein drinks' provided by the Palliative Care Team, giving him extra calories. The Palliative care nurses and doctor visit pretty much every day or second day and have been an incredible support and resource.

For the last couple of weeks, David has been having pain and nausea meds via syringe through the butterfly clip/port in his arm. Yesterday he moved to the 'next stage' which is called a 'driver'. This is a small box (size of a DVD or so) which holds all the nausea/pain medications, and they slowly and constantly feed into his arm through a tube and the same butterfly clip. Again, this is an improvement on managing things, means the medications are constant and slow release and also means Mum in particular doesn't have to give quite so many medications every four hours. He still takes some tablets but the driver does most of the work now. This gets topped up by the nurses every 48 hours.

He may be going into hospice soon for a 'respite' week or so to help manage his pain and nausea better... when a bed becomes available and depending on how he is doing at the time. We shall see, but just a heads up that this is now on the horizon.

Catherine and David are very encouraged and appreciative of all the lovely visits, cards and messages. As the care for David becomes more intense, and his capacity weakens, they are having to 'cordon off' more time to just rest together and have some quiet time and space. But during the 'open windows', visits and contact are welcomed and do wonders for their spirits :) If you want to get in touch, best way is to contact me (first preference) or Catherine (second preference) to arrange a time that is suitable. We are trying to space out visits a little more just so it doesn't get too overwhelming or tiring for David. So grateful for everyone's sensitivity and support in this area as I know all of us love David so much and just want to enjoy every moment with him possible!


As always, thank you all for your love, prayers, practical support and all the rest. We remain so very grateful.

xx Kate

the 'coffee club' - David has always met up with this group of guys from church on Thursday mornings for coffee and chats. Now they come to him :) Rod, Brian, David R and Paul - all such a great blessing to David!

Anne visited from Melbourne last weekend. David got to enjoy a lovely footrub and moisturizing :) Soaking up the spa treatment, thanks Annie x

New Pain Management

Hi everyone,

Just a small update again as things move along. 

David is now being managed by the Palliative Care team, he has both a Doctor and nurses who visit a few times a week as well as being on call 24/7 which is such a great support. Poor David has been having a lot of increasing burning pain in his torso/back area lately, as well as nausea. He had been unable to sleep very well because of this, and hardly eat, which of course makes everything harder on him, he has been very weak, vomiting etc. 

When I was there one day last week and he was pretty bad, Catherine/Mum called the Palliative Care nurse who came over quickly and ended up putting a butterfly port (? I think it's a port?!) into his arm, which means that pain and nausea meds can be given via syringe (the nurse taught us both to do this). The nurse said that the other meds probably weren't being absorbed very well, especially due to all the issues in his insides, plus these new meds are more slow release so keep him a little more constant. Since then, he is feeling a bit better/less burning pain which we are very thankful for. Able to sleep better too.

They are talking about bringing in a hospital bed to the house to make things easier for David and for Mum who is the amazing nurse as well as devoted wife! We will see if/when that happens. If his pain/nausea gets really bad again, a few days in hospice to get things under control is also an option.

He is mostly sleepy, very tired and weak. But in his good moments he can still have a little chat and a smile and even a joke, and those are very precious times indeed.

Update again soon. Thanks as always for the encouraging cards and letters, the nourishing meals that help inspire David to eat when he doesn't often feel like it, the visits and texts and most of all, the love and prayers poured out on David and Catherine which is definitely lifting them up and strengthening them through this tough time. They are deeply touched and grateful for YOU ALL, and the rest of the family is on their behalf too!!!! Much love xx Kate

update

Hi all,

Sorry I have not updated in a while, there has not been much 'news' as such. Obviously David is still very unwell and in a lot of pain, exhaustion, discomfort. We have learned that is often hard to tell what is the symptom of the disease and what is a symptom of the various medications he takes. He has been on a short course of steroids for the last few weeks, and it has had the lovely side effect of giving him more energy (in very short bursts) which means he has been able to have some good conversations, short outings, etc. This has been a real blessing to him and to everyone who gets to enjoy his company! :) Some precious memories have been made.

Due to other side effects he needs to come off the steroids now but may go back on them another time... we shall see, under advice from his Doctors of course.

Over the last couple weekends, David and Catherine have had all four of the interstate kids (Iain, Woz, Meg and Anne) come to visit for a weekend which has been just lovely for them all. And a great support too!

I want to mention again how grateful C&D are for the ongoing pouring out of support, prayers and practical help. They are so touched and grateful - everyone has been amazing . David's family are always so eager and ready to do anything for their beloved brother and son.  Our beautiful church family has been quietly chugging along providing D&C with meals for months now - an incredible help and blessing in so many ways. David wants to write something to say 'thank you' to everyone via this blog, so when he gets the energy I will post that up.... keep checking back :)

I know they have also been greatly encouraged by the text messages, emails and cards arriving in the mail. Though it is not always easy to talk about what they are going through over and over to every person, I know every card that comes in the mail really makes them smile, lifts their spirits and strengthens them both in this tough journey. They definitely feel lifted up by the community around them cheering them on... so thank you all for that. If you would like to send a little card or something, please do... I don't want to post their address on the web, but you can email me on livinglovinglaughingtogetherATgmailDOTcom if you would like it, and I will email you their details.

Knowing how to respond to the common question of 'How's David?' is a tricky one. Obviously he is not doing well, and he is not getting better. But some days he is a little more energetic/comfortable/able to chat than others. Generally he is very tired, very weary, and in a lot of discomfort as the tumour grows to such a significant size and pushes all his other organs around. I can't imagine what this feels like, but I know it isn't good. He has a lot of pain and sometimes nausea. How he feels can change within minutes through out the day. Generally his energetic bursts last about 30 mins (of talk time or whatever). We have learned not to plan or predict but simply take each moment as it comes, supporting him through the down times and embracing the good ones. Catherine is working tirelessly and endlessly as his beloved wife (or 'girlfriend' as he likes to call her), carer and support. She is doing a wonderful job in an incredibly hard situation.

Thanks all, will try to touch base again soon xx Kate